You Will Not Disrespect My WIFE

Posted by Matt on February 9th, 2009 filed in Boundaries, Manners, Parenting, Respect

Mike and Rita Dickerson Wedding

I was on my way to Nashville for a business trip and had to stop at a convienent store for gasoline.  While inside, I overheard this 10 year old kid just go off on his mother.  It was fierce and brutal verbal attack.  Total disrespect for his mom who brought him into this world.  It made me think of a TV show last week that my wife was watching where they set up scenes and actors to do act out and if people would intervene in these situations.

As I heard this boy saw some aweful things to his mom, I had a flashback.  I was about 12 years old and like most that are on the brink of being a teenager I was ready to be my own boss.  I wanted to go somewhere and my mom said no.  She had been cooking for a while and it was just about done.  “A boy gotta eat son.  Just wait a little, eat, and then we will talk about it.”  Oh man, this really upset me…well let’s be honest… I was pissed off!  Unfortunately, for the first time I lost control of my mouth and went stupid.

Meanwhile, my father always got home at the same time so mom always cooked in a way that made it fresh and hot as soon as Dad would walk in.  Well, in my fit of rage I did not hear the door.  I mean my blood was pumping and words flying.  Mom started to cry… I started to feel victorious for about 30 seconds and then all the sudden I lost circulation in my arm as my dad grabbed me and escorted me to my bedroom.  He shut the door real “firmly”.  He had his serious crazy eye going and kinda cornered me.

Mike and Rita Dickerson on Wedding Day

He looked me eye to eye… mano e mano… and said, ” Now boy, I want to make something abundantly clear to you.  Long before you came along, it was that lady that you made cry in there and me.  I would never let any man disrespect her like that.  Hear me loud and clear.  YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT MY WIFE.”

dickerson-wedding2

I remember thinking “Wife?  You mean Mother?”  Dad saw my confusion and told me that again before my sister and I came along, it was him and his beautiful wife.  Period.  I will not disrespect her.  Never.  Done.

I learned something that day.  It was a great lesson from Dad.  That while he loves me as his son very very very much.  He also made it clear that he sees my mother not as “the mother of his children” but as “his beautiful wife”.  It put it in a different perspective.  I can promise you that I never disrespected her again.  thanks for another great lesson, dad.

Mike Dickerson and his wife, Rita


9 Responses to “You Will Not Disrespect My WIFE”

  1. Chad Williams Says:

    Awesome post, Matt. Agree 100%, and had a similar experience with my father. Now my kids (all seven of them) know that nothing will get Dad’s blood to boil more quickly than disrespect for my bride.

    Blessings,
    Chad

  2. Anomyous Says:

    Matt, I read your blog & it brought tears to my eyes because so many of us get lost in being the “mom” or “dad” of our kids that we forget about the marriage that was there long before they were. I know I struggle with this & I’m sure many others do also. My husband just doesn’t understand when I say, “I would like to be something other than ‘Mom’ for just a little while”. Thanks for writing!!

  3. She is your wife so treat her like it! | The DNA of Life Says:

    […] had an anonymous comment on my last post that reminded me of something that Dad was amazing at.  The comment was that she tried to tell her […]

  4. Cheri Says:

    Hey Matt,

    Thanks for printing this. So many of the fathers today do not stand up to their children on their wife’s behalf. Thanks for sharing this. I will pass it on to all my facebook friends

  5. Kailey (your niece) Says:

    Hay uncle Matt I remember that yesterday you told my mom amd mema about the site. So today at school I had free time so I looked it up! It almost made me cry because it was making me miss papa and remember so things! Anyways see you at family night sometime!
    LOVE,
    Kailey

  6. kailey Says:

    I mint somethings that he taught me
    (:( i miss him)!

  7. T Says:

    THANK YOU!

  8. wendue Says:

    Wish my husband was like that. He usually agrees with the kids.

  9. Carl Says:

    I never had a father. to teach me about not to disrespect my wife…. grow up with my mom…. and seen all the disrespect that my went though… I guess I’m doing the same. I see a comment of wendue.. I’m liked that.. can you help me to not do that to my wife ???

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