Part One: Like to Love- when does the change happen

We were on our way down to place the headstone at Dad’s grave this weekend and a song by Billy Currington called I got a feelin‘ came on the radio.  As I listened to the words it reminded me of another talk Dad and I had back in middle school.  I was attending Cleveland Middle School in Tulsa and like every other boy I started to like the ladies.  I was a shy kid and definitely not the best looking boy around.  I dealt with acne problems…to the point that some called me pizza face.

There was a girl that was beautiful and she was even nice to me.  All school year, I would wait for the moments that she would talk to me or ask me to help her with her work (I was a geek- straight A :-).  In some classes we sat kinda close and oh man I was in love.  Well, at least I thought so.  One day during our lunch break, we were all outside on the playground.  I was playing some football with some friends and she came around the corner.  She was holding hands with this one guy that was a jerk to most but one that had the looks.

My heart rate rose and I just stood there staring in shock.  As she passed by, she looked at me like “what is wrong with you, Matt?” When lunch was over we all went to class and it happen to be one where we sat next to each other.  I was upset, heartbroken, lost.  When she sat down, she asked what was wrong.  I said that I could not believe she was with that guy.  Another girl in the classroom looked at us and started to say that this girl was cheating on me (in jest of course).

Well, she could not get embarrassed like that so she turned on me and made a scene.  She said she would never be a girlfriend of such a dorky ugly geek like me.  I just sat there.  The class laughed until the teacher calmed them down.  It felt like everyone just took a sharp object and jabbed it in me one at a time.  It hurt…badly.

When I got home that night, I just went to my room turned on some music and pitied myself.  I did not know how to handle it.  The love of my life broke me.  When dad got home, we always sat at the table to eat.  I was really quiet and Dad knew something was wrong.  A little bit later we went to my room to talk.  I told him everything.  I remember saying that I was in love with this girl.  Dad just listened until I was done.  He was always a great listener.  He then said, “Matt, do you really think that you love this girl or just like her?”

“Oh, Dad, I thought about her all the time.  I love her” I replied.  Well, Dad talked to me about the differences of liking someone and loving someone.  He even talked about how some simply lust.  Up to that point I had heard that word but did not understand it.  For about 2 hours, we talked about three key things:

1. What is it to simply lust after someone
2. Liking someone
3. The way you know you truly love someone.

Over the next week or so, I am going to talk about these three things.